We shall start with a tour around the perimeter. This is the view when standing in the U-shaped "driveway." In the interior angle on the front of the house is a coal manhole where they apparently put coal to heat the house. Poison count: 1. Since coal was eliminated as good idea, this hole has unfortunately been filled with water.
As you look toward the driveway from the front door you can see the water in the coal manhole comes from this hill in the front yard. The house's location being halfway down a decently sized hill has created many water issues with the house. The feeble sidewalk leads to the sandy "driveway."
To the right of the house is where you can get the best view of the lake from the front yard. To the left of the house is 40 feet of glorious forest of which we had none of down in the cities.
The sidewalk continues down the right side of the house and under the unattractive deck. The siding is paint chipped wood.
The view of the lake distracts from the poison as you walk down the hill. The tree next to the deck has fallen into the trees down the hill and was removed. You may notice a large mound of tall grass in the middle of the lower lawn. That is your everyday hill of brush covered in dirt and filled with hornet nests. The shed to the right is our neighbors', as is the dock you see throughout the post.
As we come around the lake side, we see some metal deck posts, they don't make 'em like they used to. At the end of the "patio" is a "fireplace." I have an abundant need for quotes in this post.
I know what you're thinking: "Oh neato, some old 40's brick I bet that looks retro chic!" Wrong. It looks ugly.
And an outdoor fireplace! Everyone wants that! Not this one.
You can see the thicker woods to the right of the picture. We have real, full grown trees! How new for us.
Now we will move into poisonous territory. I wish I could include smell in this virtual tour.
As you come in the front door you enter into a mini entryway with a stairway to the basement to your right and a recently updated, modest kitchen beyond. The cabinets are basic Menards oak cabinets. The appliances are new. Most of the windows in the house are new, but of low quality which isn't great in Minnesota winters.
Through the kitchen is the mini living room. We found it to be a requirement of all houses in the area to have a wood panel wall, so we were so happy to fit in.
The deck door has a great view of the lake.
The two bedrooms and one bathroom are to the left of living room. The doors upstairs have not yet been hung, as you can see.
We will call the closest one the "master" because it is the only one with a closet. It's approximately 8 feet by 8 feet.
Up the mini hallway is the bathroom to the left and the second closetless bedroom to the right. The linoleum extends out past the bathroom into the entrance of the second bedroom which is unique.
The bathroom has some sort of weird material for the walls. The entire room has a weird non paintable shiny material wall. None of the pieces are actually hooked up to water.
The bedroom light looks like it might be cool and vintage. It isn't. It is plastic.
Back through the hallway is a mini pink closet on the right and back into the living room. You may notice the ceiling tiles. Asbestos. Poison count: 2.
Back through the kitchen and into the entryway you find the entrance to the basement. You go through a mini doorway...
Into a surprisingly wide hallway. Obviously covered in wood paneling. And at the bottom, unsurprising considering the age of the house, are some asbestos floor tiles. No big deal right?
Oh wait they tried to pull them up. Poison count: 3.
The basement is a walkout, so this door goes out under the deck.
The first room on the left is the unusually large utility room. On the left of the utility room is a door to the coal room. And behind the wall on the left is a moldy concrete wall caused by the position on the hill as discussed previously. Poison count: 4. The chimney on the right is pretty neat. Chim Chimminy.
Further down the hallway is the only other room downstairs which we shall call the family room. The asbestos tiles continue throughout this room. Since the house is so old we can assume all the paint is lead based. Poison count: 5. The window on the right has a lovely view of the lake from below the deck.
Thus concludes our tour of The Poison House. Being that your tour is virtual you should able to avoid the mesothelioma and impaired brain development that comes with the real deal.
Some people may have thought we were crazy for buying this disease, but we had big plans, I tell ya.
And we have this view...
And we are doing all kinds of this...
That is before this happened...